Internet and Gaming Addiction?

[Baphnedia]

I'm not as nice as some folks are on this forum, I'd probably toss him out on his ear. Even if he wasn't making any money, but pulling his weight by keeping the house and the property in order (doing all sorts of chores, indoors and outdoors), then what Jack does with his free time is up to him. But, if he's just there so you can provide an internet connection so that he can play WOW, that is where there is a problem. Were I in your shoes, I'd move his computer and any of the rest of his belongings out onto the sidewalk.

The phrase "Shape up or ship out," comes to mind. You aren't offering a free ride. Plain and simple. Sure, it'll rob him of his addiction, for first he will have to find a power outlet to plug into (preferably indoors).

[Baphnedia]

Hmm... it's all really a matter of perspective. If giving him food and shelter so he can stay addicted to WOW is help...

The thing is, that you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped just like you cannot getting anything done by pushing a limp rope. There are other options, but to have anything sustainable (as in, him being able to justify staying with you for something other than WOW), he needs to make the setup worth it for you too. Having a job and contributing to the bills (so that you have more time to have fun, and not have to seek money through the internet), or doing all the chores, so that you can focus on making the money you need through the internet, or, something.

I'm living at someone else's house myself, and I help with some chores (a bare minimum, to be sure!) and also contribute financially when I can. I might not have every hour of every day with my vices (which, believe me, that would make me the happiest person on the planet), but one could say that I get what I need. You are welcome to tell him my thoughts (but by no means is this saying that you 'should'). I don't know him, or how he might react. My thought on the matter is that maybe he needs to go homeless and learn some priorities. Homelessness, while it sucks, doesn't equal either death or failure at life. Of course, I think it'd be nice for others to also give some opinions, because I'd like to hear of some other options...

[breimh]

Honestly, I can see the appeal of games like WoW for many people who are ADHD or OCD, because they give one a sense of accomplishment, but it does take quite a while to get through a quest, but there are numerous steps along the way.

Still, if you find that you can't shut it down and walk away for 24 hours (or more) then you need some serious help. It's a sign that you can't go without escaping your real life. It's a way to point out that you need to fix problems or come up with other interests and activities to do to pass (occupy) your time.

But to allow someone to move in because they're willing to pay for WoW, and then you end up supporting them and their addiction (as it sounds has happened from Baph's posts... I can't read anyone else's in this thread), that reads SUCKER in big letters etched into your forehead with a chainsaw. It's time to face up and realize that you did wrong by allowing yourself to be taken advantage of in such a way, and they're doing wrong by taking advantage of someone else and being a totally self-centered, escapist asshat.

Personally, if I ended up in a situation like that (not that I'd ever put myself into such a situation) it would be time to give one week to get work... even working at McD's or somewhere crappy like that... or throw the baggage out!

[Baphnedia]

Oh, the sucker was so talented at offending everyone here on the boards, so completely, we actually found it easier to delete his account entirely. Sadly though, this thread was started by him, and you are completely right in that you were hearing a one-sided conversation. There might be a few discussions like this left on the boards.

[sevena]

hhhmm, well ,i have to say that booting someone who has no where to go and making them homeless to teach them priorities is not really the route i would take.ive been homeless and though it does teach you your limits and what should come first in life it also leaves you a bit broken,especially if someone you count as a friend has willingly and purposly shut you out.my homeless ness came from me jumping right of the boat and not thinking of the future, i was very young and it was a life changing experience for me that i would never give back but its not easy to get back on your feet.i would give the person options regardless of if they are harsh ones they dont wish to make,options are better than none at all.make demands and make them choose,if they end up homeless its then their fault because they chose not to choose a better way.it is their fault regarless of what happens but when a friend closes the door like that it gonna do some damage.i wouldnt wish homeless ness on anyone,even an enemy.if you talk to anyone who has been homeless in their life they would probably say the same,and if you ever talk to anyone who has worked with the homeless,like helping them regain control of their life,they will tell you that the experience can leave them with issues that can effect them for a good part of their life,of course depending on the severaty of the homeless ness, but not in all cases.i was only homeless for about a year and ive always been a strong person so working past issues that arose from it wasnt incredably hard but did take some time.some of the people i met had been homeless for years and the damage it had caused was very apperent.its easy to say give them the boot and some cases call for drastic measures,but helping them find a way out in stead of just kicking them out will help both persons involved feel abit better about the situation.friend or foe.

[Baphnedia]

Well, there are a couple of things; if you bring someone in who is homeless, shelter them, feed them; that is awesome. However, if said person uses a computer to play WoW 24-7 with no actual contributions (no chores, paying rent, etc), then it makes no sense to let them stay in the house just to play WoW - especially if the increase in utilities is only a couple hundred bucks per month, and feeding them is perhaps another hundred. Its more about the character of the person who is taken in - homeless or not - that really drives their ability to (or not to) get booted out.

[sevena]

i didnt realize they were homeless to begin with and were brought in because of that.im not condoning letting them just sit around and play games,lord knows i wouldnt let that happen in my house.but finding them a shelter to live at would be alot better then just booting them with no where go.

[breimh]

Personally, I don't know what homelessness is like, but I have a somewhat similar experience in my earlier life.

When I was 16, I graduated from high school. I had the credits and decided I had had enough. I came home the last day of classes to find all my belongings boxed up on the back doorstep of my father's house. I was an adult - or so I had wanted to be treated as one - and therefore I could make my own way in the world; that was the note left with my clothing and other personal effects. It didn't matter that I'd planned to attend the local community college and get a head-start on my degree.

I left the majority of my things with a kind neighbor, who let me stay with he and his family for a few days, and then I began hitch-hiking from Alaska to get to my mother's home in Iowa. It took me a few weeks, with no money and only a few days worth of clothes and my personal items in a backpack. I knew I was lucky to have somewhere to go. I knew that trying to make it on my own, as young as I was, would be a hell of a struggle. Nevermind my plans, survival of the day was going to have to take precedence, and I realized that all too clearly.

When I got to my mother's home, she was living a destitute life. She was a broken person, with a lot of problems with her mental health. I knew that, and understood that I would still have to struggle to get proper nutrition and keep the place warm in the winter and cool during the heat of the summer. I worked hard, I learned to lay cement and brick thanks to one uncle who decided to teach me his trade and take me in hand as his assistant. I didn't have time to play games, go to movies or be out sharing the joys of friends who were doing their "sweet 16" dances and "new car" road-trips. When one of her fosterlings came back home to lick wounds from a failed relationship, she did nothing but sit around and drink, party with friends, and make an attempt to pump out a kid so she could go onto welfare. (Luckily that didn't work, as she can't have children.) She was not only sponging off what little my mother got from the State or what I brought in, but even went further and decided to steal money from my wallet on several occasions while I slept.

This is where my experiences may differ, and why I seem to take a more hardline approach on kicking someone out than you might. That foster sister wasn't the last person to do such things, and in many cases it got worse over the years with friends who thought it would be a great idea to share an apartment or home, only to have them lose their job/funding while going to college, and then try to live off me and/or the rest of our household. Even though I don't work now, I do have the decency to ensure that I'm the one doing the chores around the house: cooking, cleaning, running errands around town. If someone doesn't have that kind of decency, I do see them to be like the lazy, thieving sorts that my foster-sister and other sibs/friends were. I promised myself that I would never let myself be taken advantage of in that way again, nor would I ever do that to someone else. That's the reason I take the stance I do on such an issue.

[sevena]

expieriences may differ but the hardship is shared.the difference is the chance we give another person to prove themselves.i wasnt saying that the person should be allowed to continue to mooch or take advantage,but when this situation arises you can treat them harshly because you have been treated as such or you can try to treat them with kindness and give them what you were not given.i am not saying you should feel as i do,our lessons teach us differently ,it is just my opinion that we are all better people when we give what we have not been given.

[breimh]

Agreed, the situation is not the only thing that determines the way we act or react in regard to what is happening at the time. While I don't often clarify how I would kick a person out, I do have to say that I am the type of person to not let others continue to take advantage of me.

Because of how I was treated, when younger, I would never leave someone else's belongings on the doorstep while they were out for the day, and/or change the locks on them in that span of time. I would, however, tell someone they have a certain amount of time to find a new place to go, or give them instructions (and if needed bus fare) to get to a mission or shelter they could reside when time was up. I don't agree with casting someone onto the street, but I will not stop them from going there if they refuse to change their behavior.

Personally, I've dealt with those who refused to do more than veg in front of a video game all day, not helping out around the apartment or contributing in any way to the household, and in the end I even suffered to a minor degree when trying to make them get a clue that such behavior wasn't going to be tolerated when I had the power turned off and refused to pay the bill to have it turned back on until they were gone. That worked in one case out of the three who were doing it. The other two just couldn't grasp the concept that I wasn't willing to tolerate such things any more, so I had to take even more drastic measures with them. After I stopped providing food, only going out to get nutrients for myself, one of them got out and started working and moved to a place of his own. The other I actually did have to send packing - off to the mission - where she made attempts to try to get onto welfare. When that didn't work, she found she had no choice but to go get a job to make ends meet for herself.

Again, it depends on how far one has to go to drive the point home as to what is acceptable or not. I didn't like having to do those things, and yes (as I pointed out) I did end up suffering to a small degree myself to ensure I wasn't being taken advantage of any longer. At that time, I didn't really seem to have much of a choice to do anything else, though.